Monday, April 17, 2017

PROFESSOR KELP’S SUMMER CHEMISTRY TEST

aka PROFESSOR JULIUS KELP’S ENDLESS SUMMER CHEMISTRY TEST

originally posted

JULY 02, 2006
(old stuff from the now gone "Refined Picture Show" blogspot)






1) DOES FILM BEST TELL THE TRUTH (GODARD) OR TELL LIES (DE PALMA) AT 24 FRAMES PER SECOND? 
I feel like all art ends up accidentally telling the truth. So- Godard
but not Gary Goddard! 
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2) IDEAL PAIRING OF ACTORS/ACTRESSES TO PLAY ON-SCREEN SIBLINGS
Emily Watson and Rachel Griffiths in HILARY AND JACKIE (1998)
the best pairing that hasn't been done yet is Michael Stuhlbarg and Joaquin Phoenix!

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3) FAVORITE 
SPECIAL EFFECTS MOMENT
The head separating from the body, falling off the table, & sprouting legs in THE THING (1982)

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4) MATT DAMON OR GEORGE CLOONEY?
Mr. Damon all the way

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5) WHAT IS THE MOVIE YOU'VE ENCOURAGED MORE PEOPLE TO SEE THAN ANY OTHER?
From about 1999 to 2003 it was always MAGNOLIA, but then I discovered GEORGE WASHINGTON, and i've been evangelizing for it most since then. It's a significantly smaller film and needs more attention and love

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6) FAVORITE FILM OF 1934
Vigo's L'ATALANTE

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7) FAVORITE MOVIE THEATER*
It's still the Angelika Dallas at Mockingbird Station

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8) JEAN ARTHUR OR IRENE DUNNE?
As of right now, Jean


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9) FAVORITE FILM MADE FOR CHILDREN
SNOW WHITE & THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)

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10) FAVORITE SCORSESE MOVIE
GOODFELLAS (1990)

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11) FAVORITE FILM ABOUT CHILDREN
E.T.: THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982)

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12) FAVORITE FILM OF 1954
Nicholas Ray's JOHNNY GUITAR

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13) FAVORITE SCREENPLAY WRITTEN BY A WRITER MORE FAMOUS FOR LITERATURE THAN SCREENPLAYS
I love Michael Crichton's screenplay for WESTWORLD (1973). Post-THE MATRIX (1999) I think it could be re-tooled & updated in a cool way. Especially to reflect our gaming and social networking addicted times

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14) WALTER MATTHAU OR JACK LEMMON?
Matthau
even though Lemmon is probably a greater actor
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15) FAVORITE CHARACTER NAME
Speaking of Walter Matthau-- 
"Charley Varrick" is my favorite name from all cinema. Even better name than "Dixon Steele" from IN A LONELY PLACE (1950)

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16) FAVORITE SCREENPLAY ADAPTED FROM A WORK OF GREAT LITERATURE, EITHER BY THE AUTHOR HIMSELF OR BY SOMEONE ELSE
Kubrick & Nabokov's screenplay for LOLITA (1962)
It's different in so many ways from the book while retaining its core themes & atmosphere
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17) FAVORITE FILM OF 1974
THE GODFATHER: PART II

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18) JOAN SEVERANCE OR SHANNON TWEED?
That's a tough one. Both so charismatic & lovely... I'll go with Joan

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19) JACKASS: THE MOVIE-- YES OR NO?
Si. very mucho. Tramaine, please make these gems forever!

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20) FAVORITE CASSAVETES MOVIE
Of what I've seen KILLING OF A CHINESE BOOKIE (1976)

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21) FIRST R-RATED MOVIE YOU EVER SAW
at the theatre it was ALIEN 3 (1992). And I was only in 1st grade! haha. I don't know why my Dad thought it was a good idea to take a kid to see that.

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22) FAVORITE X-RATED FILM (REMEMBER THAT, WHILE YOU ANSWER MAY WELL BE A FAMOUS OR NOT-SO-FAMOUSE HARDCORE FILM, THE "X" RATING WAS ONCE ALSO A LEGITIMATE RATING THAT DID NOT NECESSARILY CONNOTE PORNOGRAPHY)
The original cut of Verhoeven's ROBOCOP ('87)
You know you were hardcore if you got an X for violence during the Reagan years
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23) BEST FILM OF 1994
Tim Burton's ED WOOD

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24) DESCRIBE A MOMENT IN A MOVIE THAT MADE YOU WEEP
The big cathartic goodbye on the fire escape in IN AMERICA (2003). My sister and I balled like babies in the theater & I really don't care who knows it. If you don't at least get choked up during that movie you probably don't have a soul
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25) EWAN MCGREGOR OR EWEN BREMNER?
I love both Renton and Spud!.. However, Ewen Bremner is one of the most unique & unusual looking people to ever grace film. You could make an entire silent movie about him wandering around aimless & he'd make it fascinating

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26) ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE LINE READINGS (NOT NECESSARILY ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE LINES) FROM THIS OR ANY YEAR
Albert Finney reminding Caspar of his place in MILLER'S CROSSING (1990). Hehe. It's so ruthless & perfect.
"Johnny, you're exactly as big as I let you be, and no bigger, and don't forget it, ever."

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27) WHAT, IF ANY, ELEMENT IN A FILM, UPON YOUR HEARING OF ITS INCLUSION BEFOREHAND, WOULD MOST LIKELY PREJUDICE YOU AGAINST SEEING THAT FILM OR KEEPING AN OPEN MIND ABOUT IT?
If I know beforehand a movie is produced by one of these "Christian media" companies it will be hard for me to judge it fairly.. Just being honest. It would have to be one charming & impeccably crafted flick for me to overlook that aspect
If I read about a movie having a troubled production history or lots of studio interference I try to be more forgiving. But ultimately one can only judge what is on the screen. Not what was 'supposed to be' on the screen

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28) FAVORITE TERRY GILLIAM
BRRAAAAAAAZZZIIIIIIIILL!!!

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29) JEAN SMART OR ANNIE POTTS?
I'm sorry, Annie, but i go with Jean Smart

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30) IS IT POSSIBLE TO KNOW WITH ANY CERTAINTY IF YOU COULD LIKE OR LOVE SOMEONE BASED PARTIALLY ON THEIR TASTE IN MOVIES? IF SO, WHAT FILM MIGHT BE POTENTIAL RELATIONSHIP DEAL-BREAKER FOR YOU, OR THE ONE THAT MIGHT JUST SEAL THE DEAL?
I might like someone based on their movie taste but not "love" them. HA! If someone exclusively liked modern Rom-coms and wasn't open to anything else, there would be no chance for us. Being closed minded in general is a deal breaker. If a gal loves Cronenberg or Howard Hawks she definitely has a chance!
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