The Wandering Image: THANKSGIVING/CHRISTMAS QUIZ

or PROFESSOR RUSSELL JOHNSON'S "MY ANCESTORS CAME OVER ON THE MINNOW" THANKSGIVING/CHRISTMAS MOVIE QUIZ

D. Cozzalio over @ Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule has thrown together yet another one of his great film aptitude quizzes. These always keep me entertained and make my day go by a hell of a lot faster at work. Here's how I'd respond to this batch. Enjoy fellow film geeks.

1)

2ND FAVORITE COEN BROS
RAISING ARIZONA (1987), coming only after their

stunning debut BLOOD SIMPLE (1985). I'm usually

a sucker for the earlier stages in filmmaker's careers

2) MOVIE SEEN ONLY ON

HOME FORMAT THAT YOU

WOULD PAY TO SEE ON

THE BIGGEST MOVIE SCREEN

POSSIBLE?
That would have to be Herzog's AGUIRRE,

THE WRATH OF GOD (1972) preferably

if it was an incredibly glossy remastered print.

3) JAPAN OR FRANCE?
Dammit, that's like picking between two beloved

children. I guess if I was forced to pick, I would

have to go with Japan - & not because I think their

cinema/filmmakers are necessarily better than

France's, but because a lot of my favourite movies

each year are consistently from those islands.

4) FAVORITE MOMENT

OR LINE FROM A WESTERN
Too many lines to choose from, but my favourite

moment from a western is definitely the entire

train-station intro sequence from Sergio Leone's

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST

And my favourite moment from a more recent

western is the train robbery from THE ASSASSINATION

OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD

('07)...I must like trains.

5) OF ALL THE ARTS THE

MOVIES DRAW UPON TO

BECOME WHAT THEY ARE,

WHICH IS THE MOST IMPORTANT,

OR THE ONE YOU VALUE MOST?
Definitely the visual arts, or specifically photography.

The cinema started out as these simple flickering

images. Filmmakers should still be able to convey

story & poetry with images alone before they add all

that other good stuff.

6) MOST MISUNDERSTOOD

MOVIE OF THE '00s
I think Richard Kelly's SOUTHLAND TALES is almost

as misunderstood as SHOWGIRLS was in the 90s.

Other contenders: THE FOUNTAIN, UNDERTOW,

MIAMI VICE, SPEED RACER, HOLLOW MAN,

LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION,

MISSION TO MARS, etc.

7) NAME A FILMMAKER/ACTOR/FILM

YOU ONCE UNASHAMEDLY LOVED

WHO HAS FALLEN FURTHEST IN

YOUR ESTEEM

FILMMAKER:

Lasse Hallström, Rob Reiner, Fernando Meirelles

ACTOR:

Katherine Heigl, Ray Romano, Cuba Gooding Jr.

FILM: THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK. Bear in mind,

I was in middle school when this was released theatrically

and was just happy to see more dinosaurs.

8) HERBERT LOM

OR PATRICK MAGEE?
Lom grimaced hardest.

LEAST FAVORITE

DAVID LYNCH MOVIE?
ABSURD ENCOUNTER WITH FEAR is

the only acceptable answer for me personally.

And even it as a debut short is rather good.

10) GORDON WILLIS

OR CONRAD HALL?
When it comes to color cinematography, I think Conrad

L. Hall, second only to Vittorio Storaro, is the best D.P.

in film history. Like Gregg Toland and James Wong

Howe before him, He paved the way for so many

contemporary greats.

11) 2ND FAVORITE

DON SIEGEL
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956), after

the brilliant and disturbing BEGUILED (1971) of course.

12) LAST MOVIE YOU SAW

ON DVD/BLU-RAY?

IN THEATERS?
Dvd : SESSION 9
Blu-ray : GOMORRAH
Theatrically : THE ROAD

13) WHICH DVD IN YOUR

PRIVATE COLLECTION

SCREAMS HARDEST TO

BE REPLACED BY A

BLU-RAY?
Coen brother's MILLER'S CROSSING

off top of my head.

14) EDDIE DEEZEN

OR CHRISTOPHER

MINTZ-PLASSE?
"Hey, Chris. Ed Deezen called, he wants his nerd

DNA back." only kidding. I actually think Deezen

is kinda annoying in most things I've seen him in,

& Mintz-Plasse has much better comic timing

& dramatic range in my book.

15) ACTOR/ACTRESS WHO YOU

FEEL AUTOMATICALLY ELEVATES

WHATEVER PROJECT THEY ARE

IN, OR WHOM YOU WOULD WATCH

IN VIRTUALLY ANYTHING?
Benicio Del Toro and Samantha Morton.

16) FIGHT CLUB

-- YES OR NO?
That would be a big YES. One of the first films I saw

in my youth that convinced me mainstream cinema

could operate on some level of subversive

entertainment.

17) TERESA WRIGHT

OR OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND?

Olivia for sure.

18) FAVORITE MOMENT

OR LINE FROM A FILM NOIR
Though not my favorite Noir-- It doesn't get much

better to me than Bogie as Sam Spade in MALTESE

FALCON, and the way he and O'Shaughnessy bounce

lines off each other. "Chances are you'll get off with life

in prison. That means if you're a good girl, you'll be

out in 20 years. I'll be waiting for you. If they hang

you, I'll always remember you." And his expertly

wry delivery. Classic ice-cool Bogart.

19)

BEST (OR WORST) DEATH

SCENE INVOLVING AN

OBVIOUS DUMMY

SUBSTITUTING FOR A

HUMAN OR ANY OTHER

UNSUCCESSFUL

SPECIAL EFFECT(S)--

SEE THE WONDERFUL BLOG

DESTRUCTIBLE MAN FOR INSPIRATION
🤣 the zombie Ken Foree tosses over the 2nd floor

railing in Romero's classic DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978).

It falls so lifelessly and ridiculous, and then 40mins

later Savini actually falls over the same rails as a

real stunt. Priceless movie treasure.

20) WHAT'S THE LEAST

YOU'VE SPENT ON A FILM

AND STILL REGRETTED IT?
I've gotten into a handful of free screenings of movies

I've regretted & even received free dvds that I wished I

hadn't watched afterwards, but on one particularly

terrible day in 2000, I spent a whole dollar of my own

hard-earned allowance on DUNGEONS & DRAGONS

at my local Cinemark dollar theatre. It hurt so bad!

21) VAN JOHNSON

OR VAN HEFLIN?
I'll have The Van Heflin.

22)

FAVORITE ALAN RUDOLPH?
Of the few I've seen, AFTERGLOW.

Which features my favorite Julie Christie

performance to date.

23)

NAME A DOCUMENTARY THAT

YOU BELIEVE MORE PEOPLE

SHOULD SEE?
Too many to name honestly, but I really feel like I can't

champion Laura Dunn's poetic THE UNFORESEEN

enough.

24) IN DEFERENCE TO THIS QUIZ'S

PROFESSOR, NAME A FAVORITE FILM

WHICH REVOLVES AROUND SOMEONE

STRANDED
You could argue that the film is more about walking than being stranded, but Gus Van Sant's haunting and enigmatic GERRY is my favourite.

25) IS THERE A MOMENT WHEN YOUR

KNOWLEDGE OF FILM, OR LACK

THEREOF, CAUSED YOU AN UNUSUAL

DEGREE OF EMBARRASSMENT AND

/ OR HUMILIATION? IF SO,

PLEASE SHARE.
I used to go to Bible study with my girlfriend's late

father and a group of his friends at our local Dixie

House cafe.He being much older than the average

teen's father, they were all a group of senior citizens

and I was just a geeky kid. Afterwards, we would

always talk about whatever topic and one day Favorite

War Movies came up. They were always trying to

remember what year this or that movie came out &

who starred and directed & were very surprised by my

nerdy encyclopedic recollection of all details from

their favorite "old guy" pictures off the top of my head.

Was like they had found their own movie trivia Rain

Man. I was a little embarrassed when they started to

put together the fact that I had way too much time

on my hands in my private life.

26) ANN SHERIDAN

OR GERALDINE FITZGERALD?
I've had a crush on Ann Sheridan since I was old

enough to get wood.... Which was 4 years ago!

27) DO YOU OR ANY OF

YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS

PHYSICALLY RESEMBLE

MOVIE ACTORS OR OTHER

NOTABLE FIGURES IN THE

FILM WORLD? IF SO, WHO?
My Buelito, god rest his soul,.

dead ringer for Anthony Quinn.

28) IS THERE A MOVIE YOU HAVE

PURPOSELY AVOIDED SEEING?

IF SO, WHY?
TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON aka

THE TAINT LIGHT 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.

Because I saw the first one.. So boring. And the two

leads have forced on-screen chemistry.

29) MOVIE WITH THE MOST

PALPABLE OR OTHERWISE

EFFECTIVE WINTRY

ATMOSPHERE OR AMBIENCE?
John Carpenter's THE THING almost makes

you shiver in summertime.

30) GERRIT GRAHAM

OR JEFFREY JONES?
Even though the scumbag got busted for despicable

stuff, a few of Jones's characters will always have a

fond place in my memory. Especially the moronic

father in BEETLEJUICE.

31) THE BEST CINEMATIC ANTIDOTE

TO A CULTURAL STEREOTYPE

(SEXUAL, POLITICAL, REGIONAL,

WHATEVER)
Sigourney Weaver in ALIENS (1986). Who says women

can't be action film heroes? I'd take her over Arnie

or Sly any day.

32) 2ND FAVORITE

JOHN WAYNE MOVIE?
MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE (1962).

THE SEARCHERS is numero uno.

Need I say more, Pilgrim?

33) FAVORITE MOVIE CAR CHASE?
I love the way Frankenheimer shot his chase scenes in

RONIN (1998). Especially the BMW VS Peugeot

sequence.

34) IN THE SPIRIT OF

HIS GIRL FRIDAY, PROPOSE

A GENDER-SWITCHED

REMAKE OF A CLASSIC

Would like to see a remake of Lang's

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE (1937) with a lady in Fonda's

role. Keep the depression era setting though. Possibly

a lesbian romance?.

35) BARBARA RHOADES

OR BARBARA FELDON?
Feldon.

36)

FAVORITE ANDRE DE TOTH?
Though not his best, HOUSE OF WAX (1953) is my

favorite. I can pop the dvd in anytime and have a good time.

37) IF YOU COULD TAKE ONE

FILMMAKER'S ENTIRE BODY OF

WORK AND ERASE IT FROM ALL

TIME AND MEMORY, AS IF IT HAD

NEVER HAPPENED, WHOSE OEVRE

WOULD IT BE?
I guess Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

Those jackasses make Uwe Boll look like

Orson Welles. And there's nothing worse

to me personally than comedy that is so

overtly mean-spirited.

38) NAME A FILM YOU

ACTIVELY HATED WHEN

YOU FIRST ENCOUNTERED

IT, ONLY TO SEE IT AGAIN

LATER IN LIFE AND FALL

IN LOVE WITH IT?
DONNIE DARKO. I didn't quite understand

where Richard Kelly's marvel of a debut

was aesthetically or spiritually coming

from as a kid, and simply brushed it off

hipster quirk. Saw it again in 2004 and

was completely captivated. Inspired, even.

39)

MAX OPHULS

OR MARCEL OPHULS?
Max Ophüls, no doubt..

MADAME DE is one of the best

films ever made.

40) IN WHICH CLUB WOULD YOU MOST WANT AN ACTIVE MEMBERSHIP, THE DELTA TAU CHI FRATERNITY, THE CUTTERS OR THE WARRIORS? AND WHICH MEMBER WOULD YOU MOST RESEMBLE, EITHER PHYSICALLY OR IN PERSONALITY?
THE WARRIORS! I guess I would have to be

Rembrandt cause we both have a fro and we have

similar skin complexions. I would be a little less gay

though. Well, maybe not.