VAN HELSING’S SPRING-BREAK MOVIE QUIZ

aka PROFESSOR VAN HELSING’S JUST-BEFORE-SUNRISE WOODEN-STAKE-THROUGH-SPRING-BREAK MOVIE QUIZ


originally posted
APRIL 09, 2006
(old stuff from the now gone "Refined Picture Show" blogspot)


Another great quiz by Dennis Cozzalio.

1) WHAT FILM MADE YOU ANGRY, EITHER WHILE WATCHING IT OR IN THINKING ABOUT IT AFTERWARD
After I saw MOOLAADE (2004) I was so angry I could've spit. The idea of these religious heretics mutilating little girls & brainwashing others to do likewise... It angried up my blood somethin' fierce. It's upsetting to realize there are places & households in this world literally stuck in the fucking dark ages. The film's topic got me grumpy all over again just thinking about it now!

Kudos to the filmmakers for holding up a mirror to that cultural barbarism. Truly art as activism at its best. (Though, to shield my own heart, I will personally never watch it again) .. As a species we've got to move beyond religious dogma & superstition. Education & more open spirituality is the best cure we have moving forward.

The last movie that made me angry at myself for buying a ticket was V FOR VENDETTA.. Yet another mediocre adaptation of a great Alan Moore book. I'm starting to think maybe he just doesn't translate well to film

2) FAVORITE SIDEKICK
"Short Round" in both TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984) and THE STEEL HELMET (1951). Those kids seem like the best friends you could possibly have growing up.

3) ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE LINES
I know it's technically from a play, but I love the following line from SUNSHINE BOYS (1975). Referring to an old singer who has just died, Walter Matthau says:
 "You know what kind of songs he wrote?.. Shit! 
Lady Lady, Be My Baby?! "LADY" RHYMES WITH "BABY"! (laughs).. 
                               No wonder he's dead."

4) WILLIAM HOLDEN 

             OR BURT LANCASTER?
Burt.. No ifs, ands, or burts.

5) DESCRIBE 

A PERFECT MOMENT IN A MOVIE
Too many to name honestly. The first two I immediately think of are the "Beyond the Infinite" part of 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968) and the gun duel at the finale of THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY (1966)

[I eventually did an entire series on this topic here]

6) 

FAVORITE JOHN FORD MOVIE

MY DARLING CLEMENTINE (1946)

7) THE INVERSE OF A QUESTION FROM THE LAST QUIZ: WHAT FILM ARTIST (DIRECTOR, ACTOR, SCREENWRITER, ETC.) HAS THE LEAST-DESERVED GOOD REPUTATION? ARTISTICALLY SPEAKING. AND WHO WOULD YOU REPLACE HIM/HER WITH ON THAT PEDESTAL?
I feel like Armond White answering this, but i'm gonna anywayz gosh darn it.

As far as directors go, I think Len Wiseman sucks. Everyone I work with loves his UNDERWORLD movies. Paul W.S. Anderson works in the same action realm far better. & Everything Paul makes doesn't feel like a MATRIX ripoff.

Also Paul Haggis who just won an Oscar. He's no bueno. Give me Paul Thomas Anderson instead.

as for actors; it's gotta be Chuck Norris & Steven Seagal. Even when they were young they've always just been dull Clint Eastwood wannabes. The best remedy to them was the late Brandon Lee, + Keanu, & Vin Diesel.

And Seth Macfarlane is an overrated writer. I like his work as a voice actor & I'm sure he's a good guy in real life, he's just not that funny or imaginative to me. A far greater voice in the world of comedy is Judd Apatow.

8) BARBARA STANWYCK 

                       OR IDA LUPINO?
I like Lupino more as a film director & Stanwyck more as an actress.

9) 

SHOWGIRLS-- YES OR NO?
Very much Yes. I'm a big Verhoeven fan and that is his most misunderstood.

10) MOST EXOTIC OR OTHERWISE UNUSUAL PLACE IN WHICH YOU EVER SAW A MOVIE
Ummm. Does watching CAPTAIN E.O. 3D (1986) at Disneyland count??

11) FAVORITE ALTMAN MOVIE
It's still MCCABE AND MRS. MILLER (1971)

12) 

BEST ARGUMENT FOR ALLOWING ROCK STARS TO PARTICIPATE IN THE MAKING OF MOVIES
Tom Waits.

Behind the camera, Rob Zombie.

13) DESCRIBE A TRANSCENDENT MOMENT IN A FILM (A MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZED A FILM THAT JUST SEEMED ROUTINE OR MERELY INTERESTING BEFORE HAD BECOME SOMETHING MUCH MORE)
In OLDBOY (2003) when he pops out of the box and realizes he's suddenly free & outside of the room. Knowing someone intentionally released him & he didn't just escape. I was edge of my seat intrigued from that point on.

14) GINA GERSHON 

               OR JENNIFER TILLY?
Jennifer Tilly.

15) 

FAVORITE FRANK CAPRA MOVIE
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)

16) THE SCENE YOU MOST WISH YOU COULD HAVE WITNESSED BEING FILMED

2 Kubrick scenes:
First the blood coming out of the elevator in THE SHINING (1980).

and second, the scene in FULL METAL JACKET (1987) where the marines shoot up the abandoned Huế city buildings in an attempt to draw out a sniper. To see all the squibs & pyrotechnics go off on that set..

17) ROBERT RYAN 

      OR RICHARD WIDMARK?
Widmark.

18) NAME A MOVIE 

THAT INSPIRED YOU TO WALK OUT BEFORE IT WAS FINISHED
This stupid movie last year called STEALTH.

19) FAVORITE POLITICAL MOVIE
Both versions of THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE.

20) YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE POSTER/ONE-SHEET, OR THE ONE YOU'D MOST LIKE TO OWN
theatrical poster for Bava's PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES ('65)

21) JEFF BRIDGES 

             OR JEFF GOLDBLUM?

I truly love both of these men, but Bridges is the better actor.

22) FAVORITE KEN RUSSELL
The director's cut of THE DEVILS (1971)

23) ACCEPTING THE CONVENTIONAL WISDOM THAT 1970-1975 MARKED A GOLDEN AGE OF AMERICAN FILMMAKING IN WHICH ARTISTIC AMBITION AND POPULAR ACCEPTANCE WERE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, WHAT FOR YOU WAS THIS GOLDEN AGE'S HIGH POINT? (COULD BE A MOVIE, A TREND, THE EMERGENCE OF A STAR, ETC)
Both Scorsese and Malick's big breakout films of '73.

24) GRACE KELLY 

                 OR AVA GARDNER?
Ava..

25) WITH TOTAL DISREGARD FOR WHETHER IT WOULD EVER ACTUALLY BE CONSIDERED, EVEN IN THIS AGE OF MOVIE RECYCLING, WHAT FILM EXISTS THAT YOU FEEL MIGHT ACTUALLY WARRANT A SEQUEL, OR WOULD PRODUCE A SEQUEL YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN SEEING?
M. Night Shyamalan's UNBREAKABLE (2000). It seemed to have a whole larger mythology going on in the background. Could have easily expanded into a small cinematic universe or tv series.